"Hooooooney, where's my Pants?"
"Honey, where did I put my keys?"
Women who are married or living in sin will know exactly what I am talking about on this one. So right back at you funny Mr. Thurber...I hate men because they never know where they put their own shite. Okay...No, I don't really hate all men, some of them can probably take care of themselves, or at least I hope they can. But this is one of those things that I promised myself; I would never again date a man who asks me where his pants are. And why do men do this? Why? Is it just laziness? If he was home alone he'd have to find these items on his own so is it just because someone else is in the house? What do men do when they are home alone? Wander around shouting out "Where's my pants?"
I will also never date a man who does not like Hockey or U2.
So that made me wonder does everybody have these little checklists? He/she has to be *this*, check.
He can't be *that*, check.
What's the silliest one you have?
As I get older I wonder how fucking long might this list get and where do you the draw the line? Is there a hierarchy of these attributes?? I mean if he fits all the other major things like, he's not a serial killer and he treats me well is the fact that he is too lazy to open his eyes and find his own pants or keys really a drawback? If he doesn't really like U2 can I get past that if everything else is great? Hrm...for me that is a deal breaker. How ridiculous...
**to note that this has absolutely nothing to do with my current roommate shouldn't be necessary because he is perfectly capable of finding his own pants...
In other news, tomorrow K-days starts up and so do my 18 hour shifts. I work from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. Hopefully the barbarous multitude will be in a good mood and will be full of stupid questions to amuse me during my long, long day...
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13 comments:
Well Heather, would you date a man who asks you were his panties are? ;)
How long are you on the crappy long shift for?
I used to be more picky with guys then I am now. So I am getting less picky with age, or possibly just more desperate, who knows. My basic criteria at this point is:
He has to be left-wing.
He has to be a non-smoker.
He has to have a penis more than 3 inches long.
He has to be an all-around nice fellow.
He can't be annoying.
He can't shave his pubic hair.
He can't have any repulsive body odours.
I think that covers the basics.
To whom I assume is The Dude,
If he can't find his panties then the fact that I won't date him is the least of his worries...
And, I work this shift 6 times in the next 10 days. Rockin.
Hey Steph...what's up with the Pubic Hair? Have you actaully dated a baldy? Have you had to break up with a guy who has no pubic hair and a small dink? That would be terrible...
"uhh...really it's not you...it's uhh...me, yeah that's it..."
What if it was too big?
I personally like a man who is well-groomed, not just down der..but all around.
I find that I am very old fashioned so he would have to a gentleman too. Opening doors, etc...
Shit, you are right, you get less picky and I get more picky...
Some people may call me picky, but I absolutely insist that any woman I date MUST, without exception, be conscious. Also, I'm afraid that I could never date a woman who hates me. I know, I know, I'm kind of limiting my options, but I always have been stubborn.
But seriously: I don't think I have any real "deal-breakers" aside from the obvious standards (racism, cheering for the Blue Bombers, etc.). There are traits that I'd prefer prospective partners to have, of course, and traits I'd prefer them not to have, but I don't think any of them alone would be the difference.
I would prefer the women I date to not be married. There's a story that goes with this, but it's much too tawdry to repeat.
I'm not overly picky about who I date, all I ask for is perfection.
S.
I'm not sure if this qualifies as "silly", but:
She must appreciate the fine art of the Broadway musical.
Most things I can learn to live with gracefully if counterbalanced by a pedigree of positives that cannot be refused, but dislike of musicals is a non-negotiable deal-breaker.
I happen to think this is quite reasonable.
I always admire your eloquence Nick. I think that is very reasonable and not silly at all. It is just too bad that you and Mr. Speaker are both heterosexual, or I would hook you up.
No I havent actually dated a baldy, not that I am aware of anyways. I haven't seen the genital regions of every person I've dated though, so who knows. Just the idea of a grown man shaving all his pubic hair grosses me out. Like why would you want to look like a 10 year old boy?
Oh and too big of a dick is just as bad as too small of a dick. And no I have never broken up with anyone because of their dick size.
me neither...
I have no pre-determined "criteria" when it comes to dating. Proof? Ex-Mrs. Dude was a Flames fan. ;)
--The Dude (in case it wasn't already obvious...)
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