Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Canadian pride may not rest on our sleeves, but it resides deeply in our hearts ~ Steve Miller

Rumour has it the new U2 album is called Vertigo. I just hope it comes out soon because I am so bloody excited for new music and a new tour.

Tomorrow is Canada Day and I plan on making the most of it. Starting with a Pancake Breakfast at the Leg at the crack of Keiths' sister, a 21 gun salute, a trip to Fort Edmonton Park in the afternoon and then a trip out to Sherwood park to see my friend's new house! Whew! I hope you all have a Happy Canada Day!

(Here is a PDF of events)

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds ~ Samuel Adams

To the man who came and registered to vote at my polling station with a broken thumb (before he went to the doctor) I salute you, Sir.

Not to get veklempt here but there is something to be said about being on the front lines of democracy. The chance to really make sure it is done properly. It really means something to me to be there on the day and to be a part of the whole experience. We had a family come in and they were showing their daughter, about 12 years old, how they vote. The Dad said "see sweetie, this is the most important thing I will do all year...it's very important to vote." I was so impressed by that.

I have to admit I take my role as DRO deadly serious. The Dude commented that normally I am an elections hack, but then I turn into elections hag on election day. I'll admit it, it is true. My friends will also attest to this, I run a tight ship. When I was a cashier at The O.G. I tended to be one hell of a bitch. I like things done by the rules.

So if a scrutineer makes the mistake of storing his papers on the stage behind a polling station, damned right I am going to adhere to my oath to protect the secrecy of the vote. I politely asked him to keep in his seat. He ignored me, so I told my poll supervisor.

The scrutineer manning my station sat in her chair offering commentary on each voter:
The poll clerk asked her if she needed his name and she replied,
"No, I'm sure he's not one of "our" voters", she said
"Why do you assume that?" my super-fantastic poll clerk asked her. "He's 'Gay'", she whispers, "and he has an earring."
Oh my god an earring!

I will leave out the name of the party she was with, if you can't guess already, but I would love to introduce her to a certain person I know who could bitch slap her out of that stereotype. I really don't have much patience for close-minded people who make snap judgments.
Besides her commentary she was a great scrutineer, and she adhered to the rules, even made me swear in a few voters(giving oaths really is the best part!). But Holy Moses Lady, just try to think outside the paradigm a wee bit...

All in all a good day, and we had our share of crazies. I had a visually impaired lady who just shouted "Liberal" in a French accent as I tried to assist her with her ballot. Hilarious.
By the time I closed my poll and got to the bar to meet all the hacks it was packed and the results were in. I am glad I could wind down after the long day with good friends and some good laughs. I needed that, so thanks. I have hope for our new government and I am excited to see what comes of this new minority, who will be Speaker, and what election promises will be kept. Let's hope it lasts the year.

I think it might be noteworthy to say that tonight was my last council meeting in an official capacity. I was proxying for Anand whilst he worked for the NDP in Ottawa, and tonight he returned, much to the delight of many councilors and Executives. I don't know who was happier to see him, but I am relieved of my duties and it was President Blatz who summed it up instantly, "see ya, Heather."
Smith threatened.."You'll be back...."
Well, we'll see about that. But am sad I couldn't be on that Visiting Lectureship on Human Rights Committee. I'll get over it, though.

Well there you have it, ramblings about the significant things in my last few days....oh but lastly I would like congratulate my friend Mel Cote who became an Auntie tonight. Her sister had a little baby boy named Nicholas tonight. He was 8 lbs, 8 oz.
Welcome to the world little guy!

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote ~ George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)

Rather fitting that Santa was brought up in the last post because tonight feels like Christmas Eve to this election hack. I have to be up at, what Alex Taylor correctly refers to as, "stupid o'clock". I call it "the crack of Keiths' Sister"(her name being Dawn). Whatever you call it, it's fucking early. So you'd think I would be asleep. Nope. Can't sleep.

And to think we do this 2 (possibly 3) more times in the next several months. All I can think about is how close the election might be and I can't wait to go and see all the other elections hacks I know at Dewey's tomorrow! And to cry in my beer if a Conservative majority actually happens.

I also hope that we managed to engage the youth vote this time. I have really enjoyed watching this campaign and this is really the most I have ever paid attention to an election. Tomorrow we all get a chance to do something a lot of people in countries all over the world don't get to do...exercise the right to vote. So don't forget. Don't think you can't make a difference...you can!

Okay that's all I have to preach about.

I had a great weekend...the football game was a blast, even though we lost. I got to catch up with good friends. Roman made a little kid cry at the Football game. Vote Roman. Mr. Speaker bought a big green horn, and read the paper when he got bored. The Dude ditched us, most likely for a cute co-ed up in college corner...

The best part of the game was when we left to come back to Hack House for a barbecue and some Clue. Actually it was 'Clue the drinking game' really. You'd never think that clue could be filled with sexual innuendo...but it is especially with Bog at the table. Whoo whoo!
Memorable quote of the evening:
Sammers: "I hate it when I get fucked by the revolver"

Professor Plum in the Dining room with the revolver. I accused with the bloody Rope!!...so did Gregory and Allison.
We all got fucked by the revolver.

I just realized inside jokes really don't blog well.

It's Canada Day Thursday...what are you planning to do to celebrate?

2 days until Klein releases his new Health plan. Brace yerselves...





Saturday, June 26, 2004

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~ Shirley Temple

Customer(older Male): I want to go to Northgate...North, where Santa is.
Me (kidding): I'm not sure if he's still at Northgate this time of year....but you take the number 9...
Customer interupts: I hear he's not delivering presents next year....Sexual assault charges...He was charged with laying barbie dolls under the tree...
Me: Right, aha ha. Take the bus #9....

What does an information officer, like myself, say when someone tell this kind of Joke? And what do I say when he asks me out for "coffee" after I tell him where to go and how to get there? Welcome to my nightmare...

And yes I know, BusLink is not working right now. But please, like everybody else, call me up and make sure I know.

I want to be outside. Go outside people! It is beautiful! (or it was when I got to work at 8 a.m.) Only 4 more hours!


Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former ~ Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

I would like to take a moment here to send my condolences to the group of guys who sang a rousing, yet brutal, rendition of The Rodeo Song whilst walking in the alley behind our commune on their way to Whyte Ave last night. By the sounds of your drunken singing you are going to be hurtin' units today.

It was hilarious...I could have been mad, but they were so funny. Actually it made me kind of sad that I wasn't out stompin down Whyte Ave too. It was clear only one guy knew the words for sure, so it was basically a bunch of men shouting random swears to the tune of The Rodeo Song. Which actually worked out okay for them seeing as that pretty much anything works when you are singing The Rodeo Song.

"You piss me off
You fucking jerk
You get on my nerves"

Oh and Happy Birthday Jones!

Friday, June 25, 2004

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so ~Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Let's see...it is Friday, which is like the end of the week for me, so looking back...
I have now had a blog for one whole week. Last night, Mr. Speaker was asking me what the deal is with all these blogs. He's not a fan. They seem wholly anti-social to him. I'd agree with that except for the fact that I feel like I can keep in touch with all my friends around the globe and I think my blog might be useful in that way. Although I can see his concern because it is possible, at some point, that I may never have to see Smith again. I can just Blog stalk him. But that would be a sad day.

I'll admit it: I have nothing of importance to discuss here this lovely Friday, and right now I am stuck inside, at my desk, dealing with morons. On the homefront a lady has moved into the Commune..just down the hall so I have a new neighbour. I hope she likes Hacks. The new agenda is out for council. That's exciting for me and my hacks.

I am meeting with my Poll clerk tomorrow, getting geared up for the big day on Monday. YAY! My poll clerk has changed, I am no longer with Klya. Yes Klya. I should have known when I got her name that something was amiss. (yup, the name is Kyla.) On the whole I would have to say that the organization at the elections office is pretty much shite. They frighten me. I am just glad that we are all going crazy together and I can just follow Alex Taylor into the mire. Now I am told I am partnered up with Andrew and not Klya. This puts a big glitch into my plans for tomorrow but no worries it will all work out, just cuts into my drinking time, dammit. On related election news, I heard from the Global News (In hack house we call it Global Gossip, because the tripe they spew can rarely be classified as 'news') that it will cost about $264 million dollars for this election. Sweet Jesus! The anchor also added that, "it will cost about the same in about 6 months" when our newly elected minority government shits the bed and we go back to the polls. Ahhh...Democracy...

(edit: okay, okay...The anchor never actually used the words "shits the bed"...that's me editorializing....sorry to the 'gossip nazi' who emailed me ;p)

My good friend JT is coming up to Onion Town this weekend for some boozing and schmoozing.
It is almost July! Cripes time is flying. This month I start going to classes with my friend Caroline so that I can be her partner when she has her baby. I am soooo exited for this, and kinda scared too. What if I fuck up? Will I be strong enough? Will I cry the whole way through? Then I realize..I'm not having the baby, she is, so I just need to relax.

Next week: The Indians' Stag. Good times.

Have a good weekend ladies, gents and hacks. Go Esks!

Thursday, June 24, 2004


rawr. Posted by Hello

Odysseus: [to Achilles] "War is young men dying and old men talking. Ignore the politics."

I went and saw the movie Troy last night. Yes, it has been out for a while but I only just saw it. So this could have been a great movie but the serious problem I had with it was the casting. So Mr. Edward Mercieca and Ms. Lucinda Syson, the casting directors, I have to ask...What the hell were you thinking?

To be fair I wonder if it's possible to make a movie without the audience questioning a certain character because they associate that actor with another movie? Like Tom Hanks...He seems to be able to get away from the type-casting, sort of (I mean I never thought that was Forrest Gump stranded on a desert Island in Castaway...). It drove me nuts during this movie, I kept hearing BoG in my head going.."I liked this movie better when they called it 'braveheart'...."

First off, I believed Brad Pitt in it, I did, but I saw a lot of that other character "Tristan Ludlow" he played in Legend's of The Fall mixed into his Achilles. That crazy Mofo Tristan was a better Achilles though, just add a lunge or two. I have to admit all the quick, thrusting lunges Achilles did were great...

Moving on to Legolas. The elves really let him down in this one. I couldn't get Paris separated from Legolas. When I saw Paris practicing his aim on that dummy I just laughed and thought, 'bah...as if Legolas needs to practice.' Then in the end Achilles just pulls Paris' arrows out of his chest like a hot knife through butter. Seriously...Would the Elves make such crap arrows?? I think not. Also we learned in 'Braveheart'' that you don't just yank on the arrow piercing your chest, you break the arrow off and keep fighting with it lodged in your lung. It was Hamish Campbell and his Da, his cranky old father, who taught us that. And speaking of those two characters, Mr. Edward Mercieca and Ms. Lucinda Syson chose to basically use all the characters from Braveheart and recast them terribly in Troy. So through the movie I'm all..."As if Hamish (Brendan Gleeson who played King Menelaus) would fight against his own Father" (James Cosmo who played Glaucus in Troy and The old Campbell in Braveheart). It would have been great had they cast them Father and son again. But noooo...

Also Brian Cox who played Agamemnon, played Argyle Wallace in Braveheart too...Frick it is like some sort of flashback..The Wallace Clan circa 1193 B.C.

All I can say is that is what I was thinking about instead of watching the movie. So I call it bad casting. Or just chalk it up to the fact that I have seen way too many movies (and Braveheart, specifically, about 20 times). Speaking of type-casting...Oh Joy!...Canoe Reeves in another movie. I saw the trailer for that last night too...looks silly. He plays "an irreverent supernatural detective". LOL!

I liked Troy all in all, and I actually learned something. I also realized that I really did learn something in all those classics classes I took last year. Yay, Dr. Jan McEwan, my classics Professor, I actually learned something in your class! Although I was disappointed that they didn't feature the Archimedes' Claw even though that's from earlier (like 214 BCE), but I did a whole paper on that once, and it would have been cool to see what Hollywood could create.

My favorite part of Troy was the rolling balls of fire. Cool!



Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people ~ William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)

I stumbled across this today. I heard a very funny story about this campaign the other day, so I think this blog might be entertaining. So far, not so much.

Jung-Suk Ryu is running in the upcoming municiple election and already has an impressive website up and running. He's bloggin it up for us to follow his campaign. I'm, as always, impressed by his level of communication and at how prepared he is.

Last Thursday my Auntie Marilyn said that she thinks young candidates are merely wasting their time, as no "older" voter will ever vote for them. Without experience can a young candidate win?
I have recently seen some great, young candidates, mostly with the NDP and I am looking forward to the young candidates running for council, including the illustrious Paul Welke. After the federal election I will check the stats to see if my Auntie Marilyn was right or not.
I personally hope she is wrong...

Tuesday, June 22, 2004


"Bill Clinton, Former US President: I've honestly tried to say more about my life than I believe any public figure ever has and probably more than anyone ever should.", Lateline � ABC news
 Posted by Hello

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes ~ Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

Why would anyone watch The View?
It is droning on in the background as I type this and I can't understand a word because they all need to have the spotlight. Everybody is talking and nobody is listening.
Admittedly, my friends and I, when we get together, all talk at once and blather on and on, but we don't do it on national television. Frick, all these women talking at the same time, it's about the most annoying noise. Except for all those men talking at the same time during the leaders debate.
Anyhoo...they are talking about Bill Clinton. He's got a new book out. He's on Oprah tonight. ummm...isn't this old news? It's a book about everything we already knew about 5 years ago.

I have to say it, The U.S. is good at pointing out things that we all knew a while back. From Harpers:

"The 9/11 commission released two staff reports concluding
that there is no credible evidence that Iraq ever entered
into an alliance with Al Qaeda; the commission also detailed
for the first time the surprising level of confusion and
miscommunication among top administration officials on the
day of the attacks."

Shocker! So why are the ladies on The View talking about the lies their last president told them when they could be focusing on the lies their current president tells them (which seem much more book worthy).

Oh...the little Blonde lady sitting next to Star Jones Just said " She bringed something." LOL!
Bring it!

"If the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote." ~Newt Gingrich

Monday, June 21, 2004

Vote early and vote often ~ Al Capone (1899 - 1947)

Busy day today. At the top of the list of things that happened to me today....The CPAC bus was parked down my street. It was saucesome. ;p

I walked around the corner and there it was...A big ass bus, with the CPAC logo, hauling around the corner and a thrill of excitement overcame me. Sad thing that...me getting excited about a CPAC bus. I, being the shy type, walked right up and asked what was happening...they even asked me a couple of questions. I didn't get to meet Ken Rockburn though...boo. They were doing some feature on low voter turnout, or something. Go vote people. Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top?

At City Hall today they are discussing some big issues. The fate of our trolley bus system hangs in the balance. Should we scrap a million dollar system because environmentally friendlier transportation costs more up front? Is it worth it?

Also to all the young thrill-seeking, high school students out there, a sad note. You just might not be able to sneak into Queen Elizabeth Pool like my friends and I did. They mean to shut it down because The Queen E is cracked...The repair will cost $400,000. What to do? It would have been nice to have to pool just down the hill..nice and close to my house, but we'll see what they decide.

I can't believe I love going to these committee meetings. Oh...and the K-Days line-up has been announced...
It's going to be great. On the entertainment side I hear Loverboy is coming. Yes, Loverboy. Sam Roberts is coming too, and Swollen Members & Sweatshop Union! There were some pretty good names on there. That bodes well.

You know how every year they pick a country...last year it was Iceland I think. Well this year they picked Africa. So I hear all these people talking about the 'country' this year. It's a continent brothers and sisters, a continent. At least they got it right on the Website. I have a wee game for you...see how many news shows call it a country on the 6 p.m. news tonight. I am just glad they picked Africa...perhaps this can bring about some actual awareness on what is actually happening in Africa. It would be cool if the university got involved and attached some educational programs to the event.


Sunday, June 20, 2004


The Place Where Friends Meet.... Posted by Hello

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. ~ Winston Churchill

So youth don't vote. I've heard more about this issue this election than ever before. Perhaps because when I was younger I didn't realize this, or didn't notice, ironic huh? Now it seems like all I hear about is how important it is to get 18-34 year olds voting this time round. Whether it is because they don't want to or they are not engaged with the process or cynical, or if they just don't give a rat's ass, very few vote. Last night we went to a "Democracy is sexy" bar crawl. I think the idea is to have more youth oriented events and that way they might make it to the polls. It wasn't much of a crawl though, and in the end the bus never did come so it was basically just an excuse to get together and drink a few beers. Everybody I was with is a voter. So if only people who vote go to these types of events how do we get those who don't vote to actually take an interest?
Can you force that? I don't know....

I had a great time. At one point we were all dancing and the DJ mentioned he needed a "few girls up on The Speaker", which of course is hilarious if, as Chris Samuel pointed out, that statement was something said in Council.

So we did a little dancing and went over to Suite 69 then on to The Strat. I love The Strat. This was the first time I ever went with just girls. We had a blast. I've had some pretty good times there...we'll just leave it at that because some of those great stories are best left untold..

At the end of the night, and yes I am leaving out the juicy details, the bartender flipped of the lights to indicate last call and we finished our pitcher and left to stumble home. So our Democracy night was great but I doubt we convinced anybody to vote.

Today I was having dinner with Allie and she was wearing her "Democracy is Sexy" t-shirt and the two 19 year olds serving us were both looking at her shirt and commenting. Perhaps that is the way to get youth to vote. Get hot chicks to wear VOTE! T-shirts.

Saturday, June 19, 2004


Speaking of Lammie's...I miss the boys.  Posted by Hello

When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. ~ Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)

I am getting more and more excited for 28 June.
Woke up early today and Smith and I went to go catch the bus at 6:55 a.m. Of course, we missed the bus and ended up standing there waiting for the next. A nice and rather polite homeless man approached us and started a conversation with Smith. I went and sat down. After about 3 minutes I gently highlighted to the gentleman than Smith was indeed asleep. Standing up asleep. "Hrm," said the gentleman, "I thought only sheep could do that."

Always an adventure with S. Murray Smith. We met The Dude for breakfast and then we did our D.R.O. training. I love the Elections Hacks. I love working as a D.R.O. too, it's like I am there, on the front lines of democracy. Training was great, awesome little movie they showed us. 'Christine' the D.R.O. tells off the scrutineer in one example, she's a class act that 'Christine'. Working the election is also idiot proof, The Dude and I discovered. If all else fails, just take an oath. It is all about the oath. Apparently you can be totally wasted when you vote. Or dressed like a clown.

Then, on this beautiful Alberta (it is so hard now to not hear Rod bloody Fraser in my head "big blue Alberta sky...") day I sauntered over to the scene of Gary Wallaces' broken ankle, the Garneau Arts Centre across from the Lambda Chi Alpha Frat house, and I cast my ballot. Yay democracy.
It was a good day. Today I feel like a citizen.


Friday, June 18, 2004

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.

The Right and Left. Paradigms and labels. Sometimes I tire of the labels. Why does everybody have to fit into a nice little box? I love contradiction. I am one. Most people take one look at me and decide I'm a good girl and I am not. So let's cut to the chase, I am a hedonist. Why not, right?
I am also one of those people that no matter who I meet I am always given a nickname. Heather who? It's either Weeds, Snappy, Lady, Winter Weather Heather (Which is a good story remind me to tell you that one. J'aime La Fac), H-star or my all time fav 'The Queen Bee'. (a little dated now, but funny just the same...).

You cannot pick your nickname...no. Those nicknames never stick.
It's only the shite ones that you hate that people remember.
However, I realized that what this also means is that I am loved, because these nicknames were given to me by my friends and those that have meant the most to me. Just like life, it is a give and take, so call me any of those moniker's, at this point I pretty much answer to anything. The people in retail stores know this because whenever they put on their Customer Service sing-song voice and ring out "Hi There!" I hear "Heather" and it throws me off...
Damned Gap Greeter's!

Welcome to I'm Wide Awake.