"I wanna be where I've never been before..."

"...I wanna be there and then I'd understand..."

Song Du Jour:

"Counting down 'til the pain would stop"

Is there anyone who goes through life without feeling both edges of pure joy and complete sadness? I like to think that they match each other, or perhaps the joyful moments can over power any sad moment, can't it? Joy is tougher, sometimes you miss it or take it for granted. I am humbled to say that joy has filled my year so far, I have been careful to recognize it and wallow in it for a while.

I returned from my last U2 concert of the 360 tour Sunday. I knew Saturday, during the concert, how special that night would be, I was there in that moment, willing myself to be present. Meeting new friends in GA, hearing "Shine Like Stars" at the end of WOWY and sharing that moment with fans who were also blown away by that! Incredible night.

Early the morning after, teary eyed, I dragged my suitcase away from good friends and fun back to a plane home. At home came the news about the passing of a friend. Tomorrow I will be attending a memorial for a friend who lost his life last Saturday. Life, you crazy thing...so blessed is a life filled with joy and pain all at the same time.

Every eye looking every other way
Counting down 'til the pain would stop

At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility

"If you love me like I love you please won't you let me know "

It's rather amazing what drums and a guitar can produce. The Black Keys were incredible. The set list was stellar. From material they've produced since 2002 and up. I was glad to hear My Next Girl, The Breaks, 10 Cent Pistol...that song is incredible live. Strange Times was intense. You could feel it in your chest. Everybody was up dancing...and everybody seemed to be high...lots of pot smokers in that crowd, which was very young and mostly male.

The stage was stripped right down to almost nothing...it was a skeleton of lights and it was stellar. Just some white lights strung up...at times it was like being in a backyard or in your buddies basement. I loved it. But I'd love to see them in a more intimate setting.



The crowd was timid at first....but they warmed up quickly. It was a bit of a lovefest really, I felt the crowd really had a lot of respect for what they were seeing. It was incredible to watch the interaction between the drums and the sweet blues guitar...they added musicians for Tighten Up and the the bigger hits, they sounded great too. Still amazed by the guitar.

Cage The Elephant, the opener, was a lot more screamy than I had imagined they'd be. But they performed their hits well. Sans yelling.

It was a brilliant night. We realized that all of us, and there were 12 of us, had met through twitter. Also you should try Granville Island's Maple Cream Ale, it's delicious.

Song Du Jour:

"Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

I've been trying to figure out this odd feeling that keeps washing over me this last month. It's like it builds up in my chest until I can't take it anymore and I feel like I might burst.

Last night I was in Save On Foods rushing about in my workout gear after getting my arse handed to me at kickboxing/punch dancing class and I found myself smiling away at the bulk organic soynuts cascading into the bag while a woman berated her child in the bulk foods aisle. She was an angry lady...poor kid. All of a sudden Mysterious Ways by U2 came on the speakers and I sang along happily while two men had a fight over soda near their cart. "No dude, you can make Cuba Libre's with fake pop..." "yeah but Coke is too expensive, ya jackass." "oh fuck you...just leave it in the cart" "You're already ruining next weekend dude!" Holy Drama! And Cuba Libre's? That uptight Dude needs a new cool beverage to drink.

Then a lady ran into me with her cart. "oh sorry" I said, like it was my fault, then I helped her pick up the stuff she knocked over and she looked at me and said thanks, she had a bad day. She thought I was going to yell at her. I said, well it can only get better now. I smiled at her. And she smiled back then rushed off with a look of exhaustion in her eyes.
I stopped there for a moment and watched people rush around like mad, fight and skulk about and even though I had about a 1000 things still to do and it was already 8 p.m. I felt this calm sort of serene feeling...what is that, I wondered.

And I am startled to discover it is happiness. and contentment. I know that sounds silly, and it's not like I haven't been happy before, don't get me wrong, but a sustained period of elation can really catch you off guard. And this time it's different because everything in my life happens to be coming at me all at once and I should be cowering in a corner in a panic...but I'm not. I blame this on all the things I have to look forward to in the upcoming month and the really incredible year unfolding around me. I had an epiphany...I can't control life so now I am just so excited for what's next. It's a Castaway moment for sure (yay pop culture)...Tom Hanks in the middle of that 4 way stop...You never know what the next wave will bring. All I know is how fucking grateful I am for all the things in my life. How happy I feel right now, in this moment.
Tomorrow is a huge day for me. I plan to celebrate it by going with my #yegmusicclub to see Black Keys, who I have been dying to see live. Nothing like live music to elevate you even higher. Then next week (next week!) I am going to see U2 again with the most incredible people from around the globe. I've never been this excited to go stand and wait in a huge queue.


"Oh, it’s my road and it’s my war..."

I have Young The Giant stuck in my head today so that will be the Song Du Jour:

"It's not what you're dreaming, but what you're gonna do"

I got to take public transit this week! My car decided (in the pouring rain, on the Henday) that the Wiper Blade motor Linkage should break and then the check engine light came on. It was one of those moments...I could not pull over and needed to make it to the nearest mechanic. So I did my best to stay calm...got off on 87 Avenue and took the back roads, stopping every couple of blocks to manually clean the windshield. This must have looked hilarious. After that my whole day was derailed, but I managed to get through without freaking out at all. I mean what can you do right?

It has been a long time since I took the bus, and it wasn't half bad. I mean sure I had to transfer twice and run for both connections, but it only took me 40 minutes to get to work. For ETS, that's impressive. I like having all that time to listen to music and think. I have lots to think about right now. Lots. Do you ever find yourself having to make giant decisions and you just can't? I feel oddly contradictory this week. I have to find a new car, a process I am dreading and although I really want a more reliable car, but I sure don't want to have to pay for it. It's a weird feeling. I know I need a car...really my whole life is organized around being able to get places that have no transit service...but I have really, just recently, considered not buying a new one. Think of all the money I could save each month and I could go travelling more. But is that worth months of no car in a city that you need one? hmmm....
It's a giant decision. I thought once I was forced into it...well I thought making this decision would be easier. Turns out it's not. I need more time.

I am also working on a series of blog posts from my U2 week, including the gig bit of the Edgemonton show and my first hardcore GA and front row experience...oh and all of Seattle which was seriously so much fun. I will get around to posting them soon. I did something a bit different and took a journal with me on my trips, then actually wrote my adventures down in it. I know. So 1990's. I kinda really enjoyed it.
It's also not a public blog so I put a lot of good stuff in there. Which none of you get to read. Sorry. But because it is all written down I feel very lazy about blogging it, actually. It's lovely to have things to look forward too, I can't believe how lucky I am...well you know relatively speaking, the car business is just a blip on the screen, I hope.

Song Du Jour Summer Rain by U2

"It's not why you're running
It's where you're going
It's not what you're dreaming
But what you're gonna do
It's not where you're born
It's where you belong
It's not how weak
But what will make you strong..."

U2360 Edgemonton "Begging to get back to my heart, to the rthym of my soul.."

From the GA:

I fell asleep under a make shift lean to supplied by my mates in line, and got about 5 minutes of sleep. I kept dreaming I was trying to sleep under the chairs in a medicentre waiting room. Surrounded by fans chatting and visiting their conversations were creeping into my subconscious.
After 3 hours of trying to sleep I heard someone ask for hj from the atU2 boards. I heard my line mates tell her that I was sleeping and could she come back later. She said she was Garden Tart and I poked my head up...I really wanted to meet her, she drove up from Calgary and we'd been friends on the boards for years. I think it was 8:30 a.m.

I gathered myself up, ran my brush through my hair and brushed my teeth, camping style. It was next to impossible to be worried about how I looked so I thought, screw it, and just got on with it. Who needs sleep when there is all this excitement going on. It was gig day! I had waited 581 days to see this concert!! Everybody was excited!

The day FLEW by. I can barely remember meeting all the people who came to introduce themselves. We organized and got our red and white balloons ready to distribute.

By 10:30 I was taking my first break, home to shower, pack some stuff back with me from GA and get lunch. I got back in line at 11:30. I felt like a new person after that shower.I was ready for the gig. We took turns numbering the rest of the fans. We stopped at 850.

By 2:30 the security folks were already passing out mixed info. They gave us 5 minutes to pack up our stuff and many fans missed it. Some of the top 50 in line lost their spots. It was very disorganized and a huge let down after all we had done to try to communicate with Commonwealth. They moved us into a short line, side by side, and we waited. And waited. It was the most anxious time. But we tried to keep our spirits up and we took a group photo:

Then a lady came out and told us very specific instructions. They would open 3 gates and we would proceed down aisle M. Then she came out and told us something different. We were all very concerned because it seemed like they had no idea what they were doing.

And they didn't have any idea what they were doing, it was clear. When the gates opened, many fans tickets would not scan. People from the back pushed forward in a surge, once we got in we headed for M like we'd been told only to be yelled at for that...and told we were going the wrong way. Massive confusion and it caused a panic. I looped back to the end zone stairs and ran down them. No one stopped me, it could have been very dangerous. We ran across the field. I pretended to be Calvin McCarty and ran that 110 yards for a touchdown faster than I think I have ever run in my life. It was a giant loop to get into the inner circle, my heart pounding, my adrenaline pumping. One usher, she tried to tell me I could not enter the turn style, she was wrong and had been given the WRONG information, so I pushed past her and carried on. (I felt really bad about that and went back to apologize later) I rounded the corner only to see all my line mates, panic on their faces, running towards me, Commonwealth had closed the gates on Adam Side so they all had to run around to Edge Side.

Commonwealth managed to make it the WORST GA I have ever been a part of. They are just lucky no one got hurt. When it all stopped...I realized I had grabbed a rail and just sat down­. We all took a moment. WHEW! I was inner circle, front row, between The Edge and Bono. HOLY SHIT!

I needed a beer.

U2360EDM "Faraway, So close up with the static and the radio"

Woke up Tuesday Morning and knew I should get out to the Commonwealth right away, just in case the line up for GA (The general Admission line) had started. I went for a run, had a quick shower, ate breakfast and thought, I have plenty of time, I will be back home soon and can get my stuff packed. But I packed my chair and umbrella....just in case.

If there is one thing I have learned this week it is be flexible when it comes to GA. After 18 months of planning, you just have to roll with it. I pulled into the parking space at commonwealth, it was a flurry of activity. Trucks were lined up and the inner claw works were just being put up from Winnipeg. They seemed to be behind a bit. I rounded the corner and the GA line had started. They were already giving out numbers. It's was 9:44 a.m. the day before the gig. I had to make a decision. Get in line now? Come back later? I asked GA Joe what his rules were. Took it all in and decided I was in. I got my number.

#12! Never thought I would be that close. It a split second I realized...this was it, my chance had come to be front row for U2. Then I called my friends and told them to hustle down to get their numbers too! I went back to my car and got my chair...thank god I jammed it in the trunk!

I sat myself down and had a moment of "what the hell am I doing? How did I end up here?"


Really, if you told me I would wait more than a day in line for any band I would have laughed at you. And yet...there I was.


Getting to be number 12 means many things. First off, you earn that number. You have deal with the constant media attention, it's like being in a fish tank. You get to meet all the other people in line behind you. We all took turns giving out numbers and explaining the rules, answering a billion questions....well actually it's just the same 3 questions over and over.


It also meant a full 2 days of perhaps the most fun I have had. Sitting around waiting and chatting with U2 fans from all over. It's nice to be able to talk about U2 without having to explain shit. These people, this travelling band of GA family members, they just get it.




I may have been in my home town, but in that GA line I felt like I had finally come home...to a place where everyone knows your name and shares the passion you have. I took a break from 1-2 and went back home and got together all my stuff. Thankfully, I had organized that before I left for Winnipeg. So all I had to do was pack the cooler and load up my car. I got back in line and thought I would be leaving again, but as it turned out, that is where I stayed for the next 14 hours. You'd think it would drag right? Nope. All of a sudden it my reinforcements were there with supper. I looked at my watch and it was almost 6 p.m.


Friends came to visit. The other U2 fans who had seats or Red Zone tickets came by to say hi. It was flying by!


We would take walks around Commonwealth to see the claw build in action. By 8 p.m. a tent city was forming as we all nestled in for a chilly evening. Everybody was having a great time, so many friendly faces and we laughed and laughed. After dark we could see they were doing the light checks on the stage so we walked around again just before midnight. When I saw the Claw all lit up, my tummy did a little flip and I realized this was going to be such an incredible gig. There is nothing like seeing U2 at home. My line mates were so amazing. A kind gentleman, who shall remain nameless, may have snuck some Guinness into the line...which he shared with me. Sitting there sharing a pint...I will never forget that.


I went to sleep for 2 hours then Ernesto, who took the first shift, woke me so I could take the 2nd one - 2:30-5:30 shift. I did it so that Joe (#1) and Christopher (#2) could get a good night sleep, they deserved it, and I figured I would get to sleep during the day. Sitting there in the dark, listening to the wind rustle the trees, and the gentle idling of the trucks, and the cars whooshing by I thought of how lucky I was. I was cosy and packed into my sleeping bag with my touque and mits to keep me warm. I passed the time by listening to music and tweeting. Roll call for the GA was at 7 a.m. By 5:30 we had almost 150 in line.

"I know I'm going home, that's where the heart is.."

Having just touched down after Winnipeg I had the day to get ready to do it all again.
Quickly got ready for the giant fan gathering we planned at O'Byrne's and returned to the airport to pick up my fellow U2 gypsies. When I returned to the West jet parkade, the same driver from the a.m. recognized me. I doubt they get a lot of customers returning on the same day.

Even though I had just seen them it was nice to see Dave and LJ and welcome Dave from York and Cathal from Derry to Edgemonton. I dropped them off at the hotel and then made my way to O'Byrne's.

At first we seemed a little coy to get up and sing in front of eachother. Perhaps afraid to butcher some of our favourite songs. So thanks to the Regina crew, LJ and Dave got us started, so did the pints. We had a blast. The highlight of my night was a duet with my new friend Cathal. We both are ginger kids so we got up together to perform Angel of Harlem, which hence forth shall be named "Ginger of Harlem", because when ever we heard it from that point on, we totally changed the lyrics.

I knew then that this U2 week was going to be the best week of my life and that I best hang on and enjoy the ride. By 11:30 I was so tired I had to call it a night because I knew the next morning would be filled with GA and wanted to get an early start!

"Let me in the Sound" Winnipeg U2360

Dreams came true this weekend! It may have been a butterfly inducing wait but the U2 360 show in Winnipeg was worth every second of that insane anticipation!
I left on Saturday morning for Winnipeg and once I arrived it was full steam ahead. We went to the stadium, it still stuns me to see the stage built-- as we walked around we stopped to talk to the people in GA line, then we went to a fan gathering at Shannon's Irish pub where I met such incredible people. U2 fans prove to be, on the whole, intelligent, inspiring and gracious! We partied until we knew we should get to bed...only one more sleep!



I woke up early, GIG DAY! Too excited to go back to bed I went down to the pool for a quick swim to start the day off well. From our hotel room you could see the claw, the stage U2 builds in each city, and that gave us a ton of entertainment. From the pool I could see it too..and it was hard not to feel just a tiny bit guilty thinking of all those freezing fans in the General Admission line up. It was rather chilly in Winnipeg so GA was a bit of a challenge, and I was very aware of how lucky I was to have Red Zone tickets.

After the swim we went for breakfast and to pick up our wristbands. There is such energy around the stadium leading up to the show. Many people ask you questions, fans introduce themselves, strangers stop and talk to each other and find they either met on line at some point or know the fans you know through other fans. It really is proving to be a wonderful community of fans and we had a blast with them.

We returned to stand in the Red Zone line, we arrived first which was exciting so we started the line. Plenty of giggles while we waited. It went by super fast too...and then the band arrived and I was standing on the curb whenBono, with his window rolled down, drove past and as they slowed down I said, Hi Bono! He gave me a wave and they pulled in and started to sound check.



We waited, I got so nervous...it was such an odd feeling! We got to our spots with no difficulty...it almost seemed too easy. Then the wait. The Fray opened.
Then a flurry of activity and the butterflies started. The anticipation built up and every time the song on the PA would end I was hoping the next one would be Space Oddity, and then it finally came!
And then there they were!
Even Better Than The Real Thing was like a fist in your chest it was such a great opener!
I Will Follow made me bounce and that song live still, after all these years, manages to make me feel like I am a teenager again.

Get On Your Boots featured a very nice Canadian theme and was pumped up on the bass.
Magnificent was performed with a new intro...It was Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu, who Bono referred to as The Arch. LOL! But there was no video just the audio. They were having a tough go of things in Willie Williams land. We forgave them for spelling it "Winipeg" and for calling the province a State by accident. Everything else made up for that about a 1000 times over.

Mysterious Ways, Elevation, Until The End Of The World were so good because they were so well received by the audience, they were jet engine LOUD! I was so proud of my fellow Canadians (and many other nations) when they cheered that loudly! It was intense and we loved it!


All I Want Is You came a shocker for me as I had been ignoring set list for the last 5shows and had no idea it was coming. At the beginning TheEdge was having guitar problems so Bono said they had a "new" tech, and intro'dspan> Dallas Schoo. It was funny and light. Actually Dallas was the only one who got an intro, Bono must have forgot that bit as he never gave us the fun of his band intro'sspan>.


Then after the emotional tide of All I want is You washed over us...I was stunned again. I have never heard anything off the album Zooropa and Stay is a song that means a lot to me. A lot. I was praying I would hear it and imagined they MIGHT play it later this summer in Montreal...but I didn't have to wait for July!

Stay, Faraway So Close! Which made me bawl...god I LOVE that song.
"If I could stay.. then the night would give you up>Stay, and the day would keep it’s trust
Stay, and the night would be enough"

The lyrics are heartwrenching and even now, typing this, I well up. That a song that reminds me of a time when...you know...you can't let go and are clinging to the hope it is not over because your heart aches? Yeah...the emotions bubbled up as soon as Bono started to sing. The harmony Edge adds...JAYSUS...that is an incredible voice, so haunting and emotive.

Then came around right in front of us. Then he looked at me and to my left and reached his hand out to the girl next to me and to her delight she got hauled up on stage with her friend.



The two girls and Bono read the lyrics to You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet, but the one girl got so flustered--it was so sweet--and Bono was such a gentlemen. He helped them both down and bust into Beautiful Day!

Then came the sing along and Pride followed by a riveting performace of Miss Sarajevo, how the hell Bono sings that...well, it is amazing live. He does the opera parts and to hear his voice change and hit that high note...well, L'Amour indeed!

Then came Zooropa and I jumped up and down when I heard it! They pulled the screen down to it's max and only lit up the inside of it where the band performed in near darknes. It added such intensity to it because it felt deep and dark, even mysterious. They have new jackets that light up and those looked great!



The 3 sparks of City Of Blinding Lights, Vertigo and Crazy Tonight with a snippet of Discothèque brought the whole place to its feet! Spectacular!
Then Sunday Bloody Sunday followed by a song of OCTOBER! My first...lots of Firsts; Zooropa and October songs, the first time they ever played them in Candada. Scarlet was ethereal and Bono took a chance to tell us about Aung San Suu Kyi and her freedom and moved me with the passion in his voice, it truly is amazing she is free. Cue Walk On and we all sang Happy Birthday in honour of Amnesty International's 50th Birthday at the end of May.

One was very moving with a very inspiring speech by Aung San Suu Kyi. Her harrowing fight for her country is not over but she thanked us and reminded us that we all have a voice. One led right into Streets and I braced myself for it. Possible the best live song I have ever seen, and it gives me goosebumps everytime without fail. The whole place lit up red and I'm pretty sure we all bounced together, even the people up in the bleeds!
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me and With Or Without You were the icing on the cake, they either ran out of time before Moment of Surrender or it was just too cold (Edge and Larry both put on scarves and outerwear, as the wind was cutting)

Lights up and there is that familiar exilaration that comes and you can see it on the face of those around you. As we left crews were already hastily pulling it all apart. I know they got to get it to the next destination, but they sure don't fuck about. WOW!

I'm already SO pumped to see it all again in 2 more sleeps. I love my life.

Song Du Jour: Stay, Faraway So Close Live in Sydney from the ZooTV tour.
**I will post pics once I can get my computer to cooperate.

"I'm digging the ditches of someone else's luck..."

Sooohooo...it's Friday the 13th. Do you believe in the superstition? I don't really believe in that stuff...actually, I am just glad it's the last day of the work week. Woohoo!

My mother passed away on a Friday the 13th so as I was growing up I used to wonder if that would set the stage for more terrible experiences on that day...but none have come. Thankfully. Maybe one big terrible blow out Friday the 13th is all I will have to endure in my life. Though I don't think I would plan for anything on a day like today, like a wedding for example, I don't truly believe any one day is more lucky than any other. I guess, for me now, it is all about making my own good luck and not relying on something else to bring it to me.

Why is adversity deemed unlucky? Adversity has sometimes been a blessing in my life! It has taught me more than success ever has. Perhaps I am just so very, very lucky to have had all manner of adversity to struggle through because I could have turned out to be such a shallow, selfish person without those experiences. Seems to me the luckiest people are just those of us who believe, without fail, that they are lucky and look at life's ups and downs as just par for the course.

I know a lot of superstitious people and many of them are hockey players. They only lace up their skates in certain ways, or they are the last off the ice during practice, or they tap the goal posts in the same way for every game. Is that why there is no playoff game tonight? Perhaps the NHL recognized that neither the Bruins or The Lightning players would be too keen starting the semifinals tonight.
I enjoy watching the rituals hockey players conjure up for good luck and when fans get in on it by also growing playoff beards, etc. Are there other sports like hockey that take superstition to the nth degree? I can't think of any other sport that celebrates a conference final win by presenting trophies that none of the players will touch.

Today will be as lucky for you as you think it will be. I personally feel that this just may be the luckiest day of my life! I hope it is for you too!

Song Du Jour: Lucky by Radiohead




U2360 countdown: T-Minus 16 more sleeps!!

U2 > News > 'The Ones You Remember'

U2 > News > 'The Ones You Remember'

"All human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice and experience of them.” ~ Socrates

I'm going to the Oilers final home game of the season tonight (YAY! and GOILERS!) where they will pay tribute to a gentleman named Paul Lorieau who has been the singer of our national anthem since 1981.

There is wonderful thread that connects a community when they gather en masse to sing their national anthem together (it's why they write anthems, I'm pretty sure...). I suppose it is important to note that I personally love the anthem singing at any game or event, and I go to A LOT of hockey games, heck I announce hockey for the Panda's 8 months of the year so I sing it twice a weekend. I even sing along when Garner Andrews plays Oh Canada every morning on Sonic 102.9 radio to start his broadcast. I also love our Canadian National anthem and know the lyrics in both English and French, mostly I sing it in French as I prefer that version, I just think it is so beautiful. "Des plus brillants exploits!!!" I suppose it is silly to call Mr. Lorieau an institution but he really is because every Oilers fan knows who he is and has sung with him at least once in their lives.

I think this will be a very emotional night for him and for long time fans of the Oilers. I have met Mr. Lorieau 3 times in my life, I gushed terribly the first time like he was a rock star or something, as he came to Clare Drake to sing the anthem at important University of Alberta Bears hockey games. I hold a special respect for Mr. Lorieau because I cherish him as a part of my earliest memories when I was young and learning about hockey from my adoptive father. Later, as we were all gathered at the Stanley Cup Finals at Rexall Place, (at the next game after the opposing teams fans had booed the Canadian National anthem in game 2) Mr. Lorieau stepped onto the ice and thousands of fans sang the American Anthem as loud as they possibly could, with encouragement from him. There would be NO booing in our rink. The rush of pride I felt was for this community...one that would not take the low road...instead we honoured the American anthem and showed our respect.
Then Mr. Lorieau did the most astounding thing. We were all on our feet cheering as he began to sing Oh Canada and we joined him as usual but the entire place, I mean every fan and seemingly even the concession workers, joined in. It was so beautiful and then, after a few lines, Mr. Lorieau simply raised his hand, with the microphone out to us and allowed us to sing the rest....Goosebump city!



It is a gesture I will never forget. Throughout the rest of that playoff run we continued to sing the anthems together in that fashion and something changed. The team took some of that momentum and built on it, the fans felt more connected than ever, and the community came together.

To Mr. Lorieau I would like to thank him for what he has meant to me and for the moments each night he sang for us and I hope we have given him the same level of respect he gave to us. Those moments are some of my favourite memories as an Oilers fan and an Edmontonian. I wonder if he knows how much he will be missed?

Song Du Jour: Close to Me by The Cure

"The more we take, the less we become a fortune of one that means less for some" ~ Sarah McLachlan

It's the start of the 41st election here in Canada and I am pissed off already.
I feel frustration at the lack of choice and a complete feeling of hopelessness. None of these political parties seems to be talking about what we really need. Electoral reform should be the jumping off point, affordable housing and affordable daycare need to be addressed now. Instead all I have seen are a bunch of old white guys trying to say the right thing and hit the right notes for the sound bite. It is atrocious.

And my fellow Canadians are going to vote (in record low numbers) for a government they think will protect them when they are rich...even though they are low to middle class right now. Stop that Canadians, just stop it.

Government should be there to make the tough decisions, the hard ones, like a parent who makes you eat your veggies and go to sleep at bedtime. None of us should be asked to vote on their popularity. Would you have voted for your Mother and Father if you had to elect new parents every time you disagreed with them or questioned why they were being so hard on you? Doubtful, you would have voted in new parents who made all sorts of promises. But we are not children and we need to recognize that the status quo is not working and election promises should reflect the state of our economy right now. This is not the time. It is time to get serious.

The process is broken. BROKEN. Would someone please run a campaign that will initiate actual changes? No, because they are all too afraid of losing "power".
So we will continue to suffer, our votes not counting, our government unwilling to change the very system it perpetuates. Power politics piss me off because I'm left feeling used and ignored.
And you know what? Nobody cares. None of my friends give a rat's ass about this election. They are just happy to think this is all there is or that they are helpless to change it. Apathy is apalling.

There is nothing at stake any more for voters because no matter who is in charge nothing is being done to improve the lives of low to middle class Canadians.
It is all such bullshit.

Song Du Jour:

Share Glasvegas - The World Is Yours

Share Glasvegas - The World Is Yours

"We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment" ~George Eliot

I've been house sitting/dog sitting for a friend whilst she traipses about Europe this month.
Meet Marleau, isn't she cute? She is such a sweet dog, but for some reason I keep calling her Kitty Cat...it just suits her. She cleans herself like a cat which, at 3 a.m., is a rude awakening. Lick, lick, lick...ugh. She eats her poop too and, if I'd let her, I think she would eat other dog's poop. Dogs are gross, hey?

I always say how much I want to get a dog but, as a sad realization this month, really I don't want the responsibility of being a pet owner. It's a shock to have realized this. I like other peoples dogs...mostly because the owners have to do the dirty work. I don't really enjoy going for a walk and having to manhandle the excrement of the pooch and carry it in a bag with me. But who does right?

The part I like is coming home to someone who is so excited to see you they pee a little on the floor. I just don't like having to wash the floor after all that excitement.

This got me thinking there is always a give and take in life, no matter what, like the universe is a teeter-totter that has bad and good at each end in perfect balance. Every time good goes up, wheeeeeeee....bad's weight brings it back down and vice versa.
Lately, I have been trying to weigh the good side in my favour....trying to upset that balance so that I can only reap the good. But it never works like that does it? Most of the time Bad just topples over the handle and Good gets launched skyward only to come crashing down hard on its arse.

"Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the Universe is endlessly bountiful.
Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you."
~ Mahatma Ghandhi

Ok, Mahatma, I am working on it.

Song Du Jour: Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People

What is it with songs with whistling in them? I seem to love them. Roger Whittaker would be so proud.

"...When there's all kinds of chaos and everyone is walking lame you don't even blink now do you or even look away..."

On Thursday night I was up late and was just about to go to bed when CNN started to show live images from an earthquake in Japan and I could not believe my eyes. Watching the destruction live on my TV was heart wrenching and I had a feeling of helplessness as I watched that tsunami crush and mangle peoples lives before my eyes. All I could think about were the families torn apart and was there anything I could do to help?

On Friday we were told via various news reports that this horrific crisis in Japan has a confirmed 1000 deaths and no, all seems to be alright out at the nuclear plant...Just a bit of a leak, but they are handling it. I thought to myself, a 1000 dead and no nuclear fall out, can that really be true? There is no way I thought. I mean did you see the destruction? How could there not be thousands more dead?

Then I felt really bad for thinking that because, although I am not hoping for high casualty numbers or some sort of nuclear fall out, I just don't think the news coming out of Japan is accurate and I immediately wondered if they are keeping the truth from us to mitigate the financial fall out. Probably.



Clearly, the TSX and Nikkei think the worst given their plunge this morning and this concerns me greatly. I know it will take months for Japanese authorities to confirm number of deaths, sheesh, it will probably take that long just to gain access to some of those washed out communities but given the level of destruction is there any one out there who thinks it will be less than 30,000 casualties claimed? Now with rolling black outs and supply channels cut off, how will the Japanese cope? It is hard to sit here and watch as this unfolds knowing there is nothing I can do to help (except give to the red cross and hope my donation actually makes it to someone in need). It's also hard to understand news reports that say there is no nuclear fall out when we've witnessed explosions at reactors, do they think we are morons? And already the insurance companies are calculating "losses" . This also pisses me off because calling these 'record" losses for the insurer seems redundant to me. They are INSURANCE companies!

I read The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein and now I can see, even in these first brutal days after this tragedy, the vultures are descending. One of the first reports I heard after the news was a report about Canadian lumber and how timber companies shares spiked after the Japan quake. I acknowledge that this is reality. Finance and economy come first, got it, but that still doesn't make it any easier to stomach.

I hope the people of Japan are not taken advantage of while they are struggling to comprehend this tragedy but what do I do with the knowledge that there will be plenty of advantage taken?
I supposed it bothers me that in our world the people who look at this situation, who rub their hands together gleefully and think ooohhh...how can we make a buck, will not be held accountable or even be criticized. Post-Earthquake Reconstruction will be big business and that seems to already be the focus.

Song Du Jour: When I Look at The World by U2

"I can’t speak the sounds that show no pain..."

What's your favourite Bob Dylan Song?

Tomorrow is a Long Time is mine and our Song Du Jour. Perhaps because it breaks my heart when I hear it, or how it resonates longing for a love that is lost in such a profound way. I imagine Bob, unable to sleep, his heart broken, pouring out his emotions into this song in the dead of night. It is also the way he sings it, the way he pauses, "then I'd lie.....in my beeeeed.....once again."

This song is like a lullaby in its sound, I love the delicate guitar in it, but its lyrics....I really have to say that out of melody, rhythm and lyrics I think lyrics are the most important part of a song to me.

HOLY shit...I never knew Elvis sang this song. Sorry, tangent here....but I was just looking for it on You Tube to provide you, dear reader, with a link and there is Elvis, crooning away. huh.



Seems it has been covered by lots of artists...I did not know that either.
Hm...nope, after listening to Elvis' much more country sounding version I still find the original Dylan version much more touching and emotional. He sings with such sweet melancholy in his voice and for me that is missing from those other recordings:



This song would be great on a soundtrack.

As an aside: I would love to be the person who picks out music for movies...not score a movie, I have no musical talent, nope, but I could be the "Zach Braff" of Garden State, you know --compile the songs for movies. I feel I would be excellent at this...or maybe I have just watched too many John Hughes films and I think it would be easy. Sometimes when I hear a song I can create a scene from a movie in my head that could feature that song. I do that a lot actually. Or I can pull from my own experiences a moment that would fit with a perfect song. How many times have you sat in a theatre watching a movie and a song swells during a scene and you think I could have picked a better song for that moment?
Or maybe I should just write my own movies just so I can make soundtracks....

"A good mix tape to put you in the right mood...."

Yesterday was the 24th Anniversary of the release of U2's Joshua Tree Album (JT) so it made me all nostalgic and I started thinking about where I was 24 years ago and how I listened to music back then compared to how I listen now. Those were my formative years, you know, the ages of 11-14 when you start to form your preferences for music, and I relied heavily on other people to make me mixed tapes. This started with my adoptive family at home because I was now living with real teenagers for the first time. This influenced me more than I realized at the time and I am thankful they both had such good taste in music.

Your older brother making you a mixed tape is a bit of a repetitive notion amongst music fans and for me it was where it all started too. My first mixed tapes had Depeche Mode, Bauhaus, U2 and plenty of punk rock on them.

I got my first Sony Walkman for my birthday at age 11 and I LOVED that walkman. Later in high school I listened to that every day on my walk to and from school (Rattle and Hum was worn out on that Walkman). It was always in my school bag with a selection of tapes clattering around. There is the first big difference from then to now. Now I don't have to carry around a device to play my music AND my music on various tapes. I bet even the thought of that would seem hilarious to any 11-14 year old in 2011 with access to a MP3 player. Rewinding, Fast forwarding, taking out the tape, putting it back in its case, taking out another cassette and winding (with your pinky finger or a pen) up the wayward spools of tape which sometimes spilled out. It seems hilarious now, but back then it was just the way it was -- and better than albums, for sure. Believe it or not a school bag filled with tapes was a "convenience" at that stage.

I was always driven by the single and wanted to hear as much music as I could and that is still true today. I ached for an easier way to get more music and in a way I could manipulate the music so I could put it in the order I chose. I had a lot of mixed tapes, even ones I made off the radio. I used to know where all my music was on those tapes too. I knew which songs were on the b-side of the cassette so I could cut down on the rewinding and fast forwarding. For some reason rewinding took more battery power than fast forwarding so sometimes you pulled the tape out and flipped it over and hit FF to get to the song you wanted. Now, I pull out my ole iPod or my blackberry, cue it and play. Not to sound like an old codger but it has to be said...Do the kids really know how great they have it these days?

I could never really afford to buy music so I only owned records or cassettes of what was given to me or made for me. (I never owned the JT cassette, actually I only finally bought a copy (CD) when it came out remastered 2 decades later) I only had JT on a mixed tape --made for me in the late summer of 1987 --by my friend Leighanne's brother, Todd. Looking back on it Todd was my first MP3 dealer. He was my Napster. And really isn't the mixed tape just the old version of MP3 sharing?

Todd didn't just take JT and copy it onto the cassette for me. No, instead he had also purchased most of the singles that had been released to that point too; the With or Without You single and the Where The Streets Have No Name single. Single cassettes were available but more difficult to find however, the want for the single (and for the b-sides) was already huge amongst music fans, or at least in the fans I knew had a penchant for them. It was record companies who at this pivotal moment in music history were already scaling back the single in hopes we would all buy the album so they could make more money off us. But back in '87 Todd bought all the singles too, God love him, so my mixed tape of JT also included songs that I thought for a long time were on the original album. The Streets single had a wee song called Sweetest Thing on it. My friend Leighanne and I loved this song. When we found out we were a bit ahead of the curve and nobody else knew about this gem, Sweetest Thing became our secret song. The one song so few others knew about in a time when U2 was every where. (oh and years later when U2 actually released Sweetest Thing I turned my music snob nose up at it and still think the original is far superior, but that is love speaking there for sure, I just loved the b-side so much because it had more meaning to me)

I listened to that JT mixed tape during a time of great personal crisis. I was a rebellious teen of 15 and my adoptive Father found caring for me too difficult, plus all my Mother's life insurance was spent, so long story short --I was out on my ass. The sense of loss I felt was something I pushed down deep into my heart, I can see that now, and it was music that allowed me to feel, allowed me to grieve the loss and start to overcome the adversity I was faced with. Running to Stand Still (RTSS) was a song I instantly connected to on that mixed tape. I didn't know why U2 wrote it or what the 7 towers were or any of the meaning behind it then, no, all I knew was how it connected to me. I was learning some tough life lessons and the lyrics resonated with me. In my first wee apartment, there were many nights when I needed some solace and I would play that tape over and over...."And so she woke up, woke up from where she was, lying still, saying I gotta do something about where we're going...." "I only see one way out....you got to cry with out weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice..."

One night I accidentally hit record in the dark instead of play....which is the worst feeling in the world...and it was only a second blip--on the second whine of Edge's guitar on the intro to RTSS-- but because I listened to it that way it stuck there forever in my mind. Even to this day when I listen to RTSS I still hear that wee pop at that part of the song in my head. It just became part of the song for me. Looking back I never really considered all of these things the way I do now or really thought much on how much the mixed tape influenced my life. I wonder if Todd knew how much his mixed tapes meant to me? I should thank him.

Song Du Jour: Professor Booty by Beastie Boys

"Wipe your tears away..."

Feb 11, 2011. What a day this has been!

The Military Council in Egypt dissolved the Parliament and the government today. A dictatorship has fallen and Tahrir Square becomes a place of hope again. I found out via Twitter. Actually, over the last 2 years of being on Twitter, I get the majority of my news from the micro blogging site. I think what I like the most about it is hearing from people who are not paid to be there, unlike the media who seem to always get it wrong, or make the story about the media. Instead on twitter you get to wade through a mix of personal reports, emotional outbursts with twitpics and educated blogger's tweets.

This morning on Twitter I followed some fellow U2 fans around a special tour of the FNB stadium in Johannesburg prior to the big gig there coming up on Sunday. I saw pictures from the other side of the world instantaneously. It gave me a thrill. It's the 21st anniversary of the release of Nelson Mandela today...I imagine the concert on Sunday will be very emotional and uplifting, as always, and I bet Willie Williams will have prepared something special (and spectacular) for the fans at FNB Sunday night. What will their performance of Sunday Bloody Sunday bring us? I can't wait to see videos from my fellow fans via YouTube.

Being so connected on the Internet is a double edged sword for me; it allows me to connect to places around the globe in a way I never thought possible but it also shows you exactly what you are missing. I would never give it up but, you have to get really good at stopping the thoughts of wishing to be everywhere your heart desires, it could drive you mad.

Then there are the places where life is becoming more difficult for people. Places like southern Sudan.....These events seem so much closer to us if you care to read about them I guess. Hundreds of people are dead because all they want is freedom. It weighs heavy on my mind and my heart breaks for the children and parents who have lost their loved ones, who will wipe their tears today? Can they find the strength to continue their fight? Today the news is filled with splendid hope and horrific despair, as usual, but the juxtaposition of these events remind me to be grateful to live in Canada (...although secretly I wish I was in South Africa, shhhh...).

Song Du Jour: The End By Kings of Leon

"It's never gonna be enough, I just wanna be there when your all alone, thinking about a better day...."

"I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside..."

I went into a meeting to talk about my pending vacation requests and while we were talking the radio was playing lightly in the background in my bosses office. All of a sudden I hear the opening bars of Where The Streets Have No Name by U2 start. I can't believe my ears. The fact that I am taking time off to go see U2 and their (arguably) best live song comes on the radio at that moment is like the universe saying, there you go...all that worry for nothing!

I knew at that moment my request would be approved and by the time Bono sang "when I go there I go there with you it's allllll I can do..." my vacation request have been approved!

I love my life.

*108 more sleeps*

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness” ~ Mark Twain

I am in a travel prepping mode with 3 trips to plan this summer and I've just submitted my official 2011 request for vacation. Now I have to wait. Wait until my request is approved and the waiting is pretty much killing me. So to be proactive I have been a keener looking up websites, trying to establish where I will need to be, how I will get there...wondering what is nearby, is this the best hotel? I just had the foolish thought that it would just be so much easier if I could just travel there before the concert to check it out. Then I rolled my eyes at myself.

I will admit I am just a bit over-the-top excited about my trips this summer...I could use the word elated...but that just does not sum it up...more like ridiculous. I am excited to get on planes, see new places I have wanted to visit my whole life, meet new people, see old friends, visit new friends, wring some adventure out of life...oh and see U2.

Now I find great things in all these amazing cities and have to stop myself from booking them and just WAIT.
I do not possess the virtue of patience.

*taps pen*
*waits*

Song Du Jour: Boy by Ra Ra Riot

"The man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without" ~ Ernest Hemingway

Well Hello 2011.

I am hoping for more blue skies this year and not in some fanciful figurative way, no, just literal and mundane weather talk here. Currently my city is blanketed in snow piles so high it feels surreal like we are on a movie set. It sure looks like a winter wonderland and I keep getting caught up in its beauty and have to smile and give a little sigh. Today for about 15 minutes the sun came out from behind the grey, it washed over the stark and cold landscape and cheered the place up! When I walk around my neighbourhood I find the sight of the drooping trees, branches laden with heaping white mounds, very beautiful. It's like everything is frozen in some beautiful postcard except I have to drive to work in it every day and carry on like the city is not limping along with only one lane open.

Of course, there are more important things to discuss than the weather; like Tunisia or Sudan where politics and freedom (and nation building) are at war. I am riveted to the events in those countries and struck by the way 2011 has already started with a brash notion of hope. For those who dare to hope I wish you plenty of blue skies too!

Song Du Jour: Do You Love Me - Guster