"laissez les bons temps roulez..." - The Duke

The Duke is currently *working* in China and because his adventures seem far more interesting than mine he's allowed me to share them here, photo and all:

Colleagues,

I promised most of you an update on the scene here in the Forbidden City, et voila.

I live in East Lake Villas, a foreigner compound 5 minutes walking from the Embassy. Like many things in China the name is a little misleading, making you think it's rather better than it is. Take for example "Excellent 1000 Lotus Blossom Soup". Those aren't lotus blossoms and they aren't excellent, ergo I don't live in a villa, and there's no east lake. You have to understand the Chinese are a figurative people.

Most days I get up and walk through the cutting wind blowing off the Gobi Dessert to the office. This wind is full of grit, pollution and other particulate matter that I don't even want to think about. I imagine what the average Beijing resident's lungs look like when they slice them open and it makes me shudder.

The town itself is full of contrast. Sleek new skyscrapers and dirty hovels exist side by side. You can see that they are ripping this place apart bit by bit and rebuilding for the Olympics. I've watched them pull buildings apart by hand, quite amazing what you can accomplish when peasant labour is abundant and comparatively free. Add in the lack (or interest) in building codes and zoning and it's pretty much a free for all. It's the wild west of property development.

The food is surprisingly cheap and delicious. A giant feast for 20 or so with all the fixings and beer flowing like water ended up costing us about $120. This was in the most famous resto in Beijing, except you wouldn't know it from the filth on the walls, threadbare chairs and curious smell. I couldn't quite place what was making my eyes water, the heat from the chillies or the cooks b.o. I guess I'll never know. Mostly I eat at a Singaporean resto for lunch where the little girls that serve the chow all wear the same track suit as uniform. Today it was red Adidas, tomorrow (Tuesday) must be blue Puma.

One of the fun things to do in Beijing is haggle for pirate DVDs on the street. I've recently watched Oceans 12 (trash) Spanglish (a surprise), and King Arthur (Braveheart redux). A family bucket of KFC and 2 pirate DVDs cost me $10. Chinese people in the office are scandalized by this obvious lack of any care with money and common sense, but I figure if I'm happy with the deal it's all good. Plus, in a neo-colonialist paternalist oriental fetishist way I feel decent having overpaid because it benefits someone worse off than I while making no relative detriment to my wellbeing. Or so I tell myself, the DVD guy could be driving a Mercedes
for all I know.

The other alternative to DVDs (besides trolling the Mongolian working girls) is watching TV chez moi. Something must be said about the state of expat satellite TV. Mostly it consists of endless loops of English soccer, followed by news about English soccer, and then replays of famous matches. I know far too much about Arsen Wenger and Nicky Butt, and if you know what I'm talking about then I feel deeply sorry your life has taken such a tragic turn.

The other alternative is this curious version of HBO which is run through a "family values" filter, so that the cursing is removed and anything beyond a kiss is quickly cut away from. Last night they played American Pie 3, but Stiffler just isn't as funny saying lines like "Flick you martian farmer". In any case since I hadn't seen American Pie 2, I was completely lost and couldn't piece the plot together.

3 more weeks then back to the house of pain, By-town. It's an interesting place and I'm glad I've seen it. I was starting to warm up to it but I went to Tokyo for the weekend and the difference was stark. I think I much prefer the cosy confines of 1st world Japan to the developing dustbowl. In any case my sojourn has given me lot's to think about and reflect on. Tim Cole is coming over from Nagoya next week for a 3 day debauch, so that should provoke at least a couple hilarious east meets drunken west stories. I've included a photo snap just to prove to you guys that this diplomat business is not all champagne and caviar.
~Duke

Song Du Jour: Say It Ain't So ~Weezer