Went out stomping down Whyte last night with The OTC and Keepin' it real Neil (Kirn) and a bunch of Kirn's boys. Haven't seen Kirn in a long while and he's still keepin' it real. We headed out the The Elephant and Castle. It had that weird 'Cheers' effect because there were so many people I hadn't seen in a long time. Kirn was buggin' the bartender whom he kept referring to as "Sam Roberts". He was giving him a hard time about his sexy hair. He kept calling Sam's hair his "Achilles testicles". The ensuing discussion about testicles took a turn for the worse after we fought about the definition of hermaphrodite. They didn't believe me when I said it was a person having both genitalia. Sam Roberts set them straight and was my backup. After the brief discussion about Jamie Lee Curtis OTC took pictures with his cell phone from the future which takes wicked little pictures. It even has photoshop built into it. The he showed a slide show of pictures he had taken along his worldly travels. It is quite the phone and pretty much does everything but wipe your ass. But rest assured, says OTC, the next model will come with that feature...
After a few pops the boys decided it was time to Karaoke. We walked down to H2O which is a bar I have never been too. I didn't even know it existed. Besides Karaoke it had pool tables and VLT's, so the ambiance was kinda trailer trash...but in good way. There certainly was an interesting cast of characters. There was "stuck in the eighties guy" who wore his tattered Bon Jovi t-shirt, his Top Gun style sunglasses, and had one sweet mullet. There was "Paul Schaeffer" the pool shark, who would only let Kirn play his special lady. It was like he was some kind of Pool Pimp...weird. Kirn kicked her ass. Watch out or you'll get the Buzolt...
Then the night turned interesting because the boys started ordering up double gin and tonics.
The highlight of the evening was Jordan's hilarious rendition of the B52's 'Love Shack' with the birthday girl. It was sawesome!
On the way out of the bar there was a Japanese couple yelling at each other. Wasted OTC perks up his ears at the sound of Japanese discussion and can't resist. He starts yelling back at them in Japanese. He's yelling "Crazy Gaigin" (foreigner) at them and they are completely shocked that this crazy, drunk Gaigin is yelling back in Japanese to them. The look on the woman's face was priceless. On our walk home, which is only about 7 blocks or so, we must have been stopped and asked for spare change about 12 times. (and I'm not exaggerating). It made me think of Sammers and her blog post about that very same thing which has provoked discussion about what is wrong with the world.
Kirn spots some cute girls and yells at them from the other side of the Avenue, "I'm right here ladies!" and then " Look no further ladies, we are right here..."
At that very moment we came up past the bus shelter where an older, toothless, disheveled man was pushing his cart/home along the sidewalk and he turns around and starts yelling along with Kirn.
"I'm right here ladies!... Look no further, we are right here..."
I nearly pissed myself laughing.
One lost soul, stumbling past us on the trek home, had track marks all up her arms and was clearly wasted, leans into us and slurs, "schpare some schange?"
I politely shake my head and mumble, "sorry" but Kirn takes one look at her and says, "No way!"
Ah..Kirn he's always good for a laugh...
Keepin' it real Neil is like the 'Paul Welke' of my early 20's.
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