The Duke and the PM together in Beijing...be afraid, be very afraid...

"laissez les bons temps roulez..." - The Duke

The Duke is currently *working* in China and because his adventures seem far more interesting than mine he's allowed me to share them here, photo and all:

Colleagues,

I promised most of you an update on the scene here in the Forbidden City, et voila.

I live in East Lake Villas, a foreigner compound 5 minutes walking from the Embassy. Like many things in China the name is a little misleading, making you think it's rather better than it is. Take for example "Excellent 1000 Lotus Blossom Soup". Those aren't lotus blossoms and they aren't excellent, ergo I don't live in a villa, and there's no east lake. You have to understand the Chinese are a figurative people.

Most days I get up and walk through the cutting wind blowing off the Gobi Dessert to the office. This wind is full of grit, pollution and other particulate matter that I don't even want to think about. I imagine what the average Beijing resident's lungs look like when they slice them open and it makes me shudder.

The town itself is full of contrast. Sleek new skyscrapers and dirty hovels exist side by side. You can see that they are ripping this place apart bit by bit and rebuilding for the Olympics. I've watched them pull buildings apart by hand, quite amazing what you can accomplish when peasant labour is abundant and comparatively free. Add in the lack (or interest) in building codes and zoning and it's pretty much a free for all. It's the wild west of property development.

The food is surprisingly cheap and delicious. A giant feast for 20 or so with all the fixings and beer flowing like water ended up costing us about $120. This was in the most famous resto in Beijing, except you wouldn't know it from the filth on the walls, threadbare chairs and curious smell. I couldn't quite place what was making my eyes water, the heat from the chillies or the cooks b.o. I guess I'll never know. Mostly I eat at a Singaporean resto for lunch where the little girls that serve the chow all wear the same track suit as uniform. Today it was red Adidas, tomorrow (Tuesday) must be blue Puma.

One of the fun things to do in Beijing is haggle for pirate DVDs on the street. I've recently watched Oceans 12 (trash) Spanglish (a surprise), and King Arthur (Braveheart redux). A family bucket of KFC and 2 pirate DVDs cost me $10. Chinese people in the office are scandalized by this obvious lack of any care with money and common sense, but I figure if I'm happy with the deal it's all good. Plus, in a neo-colonialist paternalist oriental fetishist way I feel decent having overpaid because it benefits someone worse off than I while making no relative detriment to my wellbeing. Or so I tell myself, the DVD guy could be driving a Mercedes
for all I know.

The other alternative to DVDs (besides trolling the Mongolian working girls) is watching TV chez moi. Something must be said about the state of expat satellite TV. Mostly it consists of endless loops of English soccer, followed by news about English soccer, and then replays of famous matches. I know far too much about Arsen Wenger and Nicky Butt, and if you know what I'm talking about then I feel deeply sorry your life has taken such a tragic turn.

The other alternative is this curious version of HBO which is run through a "family values" filter, so that the cursing is removed and anything beyond a kiss is quickly cut away from. Last night they played American Pie 3, but Stiffler just isn't as funny saying lines like "Flick you martian farmer". In any case since I hadn't seen American Pie 2, I was completely lost and couldn't piece the plot together.

3 more weeks then back to the house of pain, By-town. It's an interesting place and I'm glad I've seen it. I was starting to warm up to it but I went to Tokyo for the weekend and the difference was stark. I think I much prefer the cosy confines of 1st world Japan to the developing dustbowl. In any case my sojourn has given me lot's to think about and reflect on. Tim Cole is coming over from Nagoya next week for a 3 day debauch, so that should provoke at least a couple hilarious east meets drunken west stories. I've included a photo snap just to prove to you guys that this diplomat business is not all champagne and caviar.
~Duke

Song Du Jour: Say It Ain't So ~Weezer

A family collage made by my cousin..

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." - Sir Winston Churchill

Well today is one for the scrapbook. I played my first game of Shinny hockey..Okay, well *played* might be a bit of an exaggeration...But I did participate and that was pretty damned cool.
I spent most of the first hour on the ice trying become a better skater and trying to get over my fear...I even did a little stick handling and passing!
In my head I could hear myself "Don't fall down, don't fall down, don't fall down..."

But whilst playing the game I wasn't thinking about my skating at all. Instead you are more focused on the puck and the game...And well, if you are me, it is about not getting mowed down by the players who can actually play. Some of the funny quotes heard at the rink:

"Lady, turn around!!" (I have yet to master the backwards skating making it awfully difficult to play defense)
"uh you better not fall down anymore I'm out of bandaids.."
"Nice save"
I have been waiting a long time to hear that last one, I saved a few goals! The Dude even came over and tapped me on the chins to congratulate me...It was one of those moments where I did something I really always wanted to do.
So, there you have it, a wee bit of progress, a little bleeding but nothing too major, and a successful day. Not to mention a really wonderful afternoon spent on the outdoor rink hanging with my peeps.

"Although you'll crack three ribs, the TV footage will concentrate on the puppy you saved and pretty much ignore you."

That's from my horriblescope from the Onion.com...I had to go there because Steve Smith made me. That pretty much sums up the week for this lady...

So I take it from the dearth of comments on that last post that most people don't care for George, or his hour, on CBC. Hendy said, "it sucks. First thing they need to do is change the name to The Half-Hour..."

Roadrunners game was....well, sensory overload combined with punch dancing. The boys got the "W" and it was interesting to see a game from the 5th row (as opposed to seeing it from the 38th like we normally do). Personally I like the 38th row better, not so many screaming 8 year olds up there...
I also finished my first paper of '05 this morning. Woo hoo! Midterms are looming large on Monday, I have two back to back. Ummm...can you really call it a 'midterm" in January?

The other day I was wondering...what does Alphagetti look like in Japan?

The Pandas hockey team won tonight vs. Regina. Final score 7-1. It was suggested that the "Cougars" might actually pull out a win...ha ha.

Song Du Jour: Choral No. 10 ~ Johann Pachelbel (The "Jesus que ma joie demeure" arrangement or just for Catrin: "Jesus bleibet meine freude")
Why can't they make the names of these beautiful classical songs easier to figure out? hrm?

"the truth is that CBC Newsworld wanted his “no-BS” attitude"

The fact that I have no cable leaves me with two channels I can see clearly and four channels I watch through snow (I call it ghetto-vision). Newsworld (15) and YTV(14) get great reception. CTV(3), CBC(5), Global(13), and A-Channel(107) all come in a little fuzzy.

The newest addition to CBC Newsworld is one George Stroumboulopoulos and his show The Hour. Do we like this new show? What is it we think of Georgie boy? (no, ladies, I don't want to just hear about how hot he is...)
Yesterday there was another meeting to dicuss the fate of the NHL lockout...what I liked the best about The Hour was when George got up and walked himself up the stairs and then down the hall to the HNIC office and asked them. Now that rocks. Why not go to the source and have a sit down chat?
They also have a segment called Fact or Fiction...
IT'S A FACT! George reads out a statement and then two panelist label it fact or fiction...it makes for some good debate.

Last night on Fact or Fiction they were discussing NAOMI.

" Up to 470 Vancouver heroin addicts will take part in a North American first – a study that will give free heroin to junkies. As part of the North American Opiate Medication Initiative – or NAOMI project – carefully chosen addicts will be given free heroin or an unrestricted amount of methadone for 12 months. After that period, the doses will taper off."

They had two ex-heroin addicts on and they got into a sweet fight about just how addictive the drug *really* is. Should the government provide clean drugs to addicts to allow them to control the crime rate and heath problems created by the drugs? It really showed that there is a huge difference of opinion even from addicts. I am torn on this one...I have no opinion of this simply because I want to see the results of the initiative. Thoughts? Who is outraged?

I will admit it, when The Hour got lame, I switched over to YTV to see what was up with Busy...By the way...why did they name their kid Busy?

Song Du Jour: Another White Dash ~ Butterfly Boucher

"Take this soul, Stranded in some skin and bones, take this soul and make it sing" ~ U2

U2 announced their tour!!!! Thank Yahweh!! I *needed* good news today...
Looks like I'll be in Vancity at the end of April. Now, I just have to figure out a way to get tickets...Here's hoping they announce more concerts after the first one sells out in 60 seconds.

Song Du Jour: Yahweh ~ U2

"This love is like a drop in the ocean..."

Mike Vick's part time jobity-job....

Hawkeye: "I can't say that I've loved you all. But I've loved as many of you as I could!!"

Alan Alda. That dude from M*A*S*H* and now the guy from Scientific America. Today in Psych we watched a clip about animals and language. Alan Alda communicated with a seal! The girl beside me freaked right out when she heard Hawkeye's voice.
"Alan Alda! Omigawd!" Then she wispers to her friend beside her...and they giggle. I wonder if Alan Alda knows the chick in my psych class has a crush on him?

The seat I sat in had no desk table. It was literally ripped from the hinge and I was forced to write, mostly illegibly, on my lap with a notebook. That class is packed so I was not going get up and move all my crap to another seat...there were none available. Once again my 'prof' was hilarious. He's talking about how people talk in a higher pitch to children, the elderly and their mates and making funny jabs at those couples in SUB who talk all lovey-dovey to eachother..."why? Why on earth would people do that?" It is hilarious to catch two people in the middle of that "couple-pitched" conversation...
"No, I wuv you more snookums..."

Went to the Symphony last night. It was very good but I have never understood how people can be content to just sit and listen to music....if it has a good beat I want to dance to it...I can't just sit there. It is odd to me. Maybe it has something to do with all the mobility aids I saw there. Rich, old people really like the symphony. I kept likening it to sports games...People who clap at the wrong time like between movements are like people who boo icing or offsides at hockey games. I didn't get a lot of chances to yell out "HIIIIT HIM!" but instead you can yell other things...more pompous things like "Bravo!!" The conductor actually took requests at the end.
And just like at hockey games some people started to get up and leave during the last selection. These are the same type of people who leave with 5 minutes left in the third period...I have never understood that. Speaking of sports...

This is my favorite weekend in the NFL. I mean sure, I like the superbowl, but it is usually a blow out and not really a good football game on the whole, it is ussually pretty one sided. But this weekend you have the best teams in the NFC playing eachother and the best teams in the AFC playing eachother. It usually means these will be the best NFL games of the season. The Superbowl is more about the entertainment of the halftime show and all the hype about the commercials...big-whipty-do. I bitch and moan about the sheer number of commercials I have to suffer through during regular season games. If you showed it without any commercials...now that I would get excited for. I've decided to put my bets on The Falcons and New England.

Song Du Jour: The Promise ~ When in Rome

"I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, I need to tell you...
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'd make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you..."

"Leggo my Eggo"

So last semester my English prof would pronounce certain words in a strange way...I just used to chalk this up to his level of intelligence...He's obviously more educated than I am so who the hell am I to judge? It was Dr. Studer who taught me that. Somebody in my 210 class questioned a passage of Shakespeare's and she, in her special way, berated him and suggested that we should assume Shakespeare is smarter than us...Not the other way around. But I digress.

It was little things My English prof would say...Like pronouncing Circa...Not with a soft c sound, like an s, but he would pronounce it with a hard C sound, like James T. "Kirka".
Kirka? What the hell? Whatever...It's his class. I figured I should give him the benefit of the doubt. But it was weird...

This morning my English prof was talking about ego, and the super-ego...But he pronounced it eggo....Never heard that one before.
Made me think of waffles and syrup....
I wondered, is it bad form to put up your hand and ask about these odd and sometimes confusing pronunciations?