Today, in the mail, a package arrived with some lovely crafts I ordered from Uganda. The goal is to help an organization I have followed for a long time but whenever a package arrives from the Mulago Positive Woman's Network I wish that I could do more.
It is simply space and time that separate me from these women in Uganda but as I live my life parallel to them I consider what invisible chains hold me back from changing my life. Comparing tales of adversity is not really what I want to do, in those terms my struggle is dwarfed, but it certainly gives me another healthy dose of perspective.
Here I am in the first world feeling held back by my circumstances. Seems ridiculous, no? I don't make 'enough' money, I don't own a home, I don't have a 'nice' car. There is a lot of pressure to get these things. I look at my friends who have these things and I sometimes I wish I had them too. Unfortunately, I have never been motivated by money. I am surrounded by a consumerist society that encourages me to keep up with the newest things to what end? Where is the merit in that? I don't fit in.
Surely, I would last about 10 seconds in the third world but sometimes, today especially, I wish I could go there to shake up my world and my sense of privilege. Nobody here in Canada would ever call me privileged as I live just over the poverty line here but I feel rich beyond all imagination when it comes to life experiences and love. I just wish that seemed to matter. But my wish will remain just that. Today I feel inspired yet trapped...and philosophical, apparently.
wtf Blogger why won't you post this with the spaces between the paragraphs? They are there, honest.
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