"Wheeeeeeeee....."

Things I don't understand Part 44:

1. The curious attraction drunks have to a shopping cart or a paper box.

On Friday and Saturday nights I regularly hear the antics of some crazy bunch of boys convincing chicks (that are going home with them) to climb into a Safeway shopping cart so they can push them down my alley at full sprint. What makes me laugh is that at least once you can hear, "Wheeee, wooo Hooooooo!Crash!! ahahahahahaha!"

See the drunky pushing the cart thinks the pavement in the alley is as even as it is in the safeway parking lot, but it is not, so usually drunky ends up launching his special lady from the cart onto the ground when he hits a particularly rough patch of pavement. Last night was particularly bad because said launched special lady clearly wasn't drunk enough because she wailed and wailed whilst drunky tried to console her with his repeated drunken apologies. I bet he didn't get any last night, poor bastard.

These same hooligans often jubilantly knock over the Sun or Journal Box on their way home. Don't get me wrong, I have been witness to many a Sun Box being launched during drunken funtimes (cough...PJ...cough) so I can't say it comes at any surprise but, now that I listen to it twice a weekend, it has become waaaaayyy less entertaining.
I wonder if the 'Steve Smith cart collector dude' who collects the carts on Saturday and Sunday mornings has "rescue toppled paper boxes" actually outlined in his job description?

Song Du Jour: Collide ~ Howie Day